THE BLACK DEATH / THE HUNDRED YEARS' WAR characters: mother (pessimist) father (greedy, wants to go to the war) sister ("dies") brother (religious fanatic) little brother ( = little) corpse-gatherer ( = cg) (Inside a house) daughter> Uhh... I do not feel well... x_x mother> OI! I know! Are you pregnant, you little fool? *points a finger at the girl* That handsome guy at the neighbour... ¬____¬ daughter> ... I don't think so. *collapses to the ground* mother> Eep. brother> *enters the room and reaches to the sky with his right hand* The hatred of GOD is upon us! @_____@; mother> God? Don't be such a fool brother> GOD - yes - our allmighty lord in heaven! mother> Please.. ¬_¬ brother> We'll all end up dead! mother> Oh, shut up. Don't be such a pessimist. I mean, you've only lost your left arm so far. And it seems that your sister is quite dead. brother> *scratches his head* ._. father> *enters the room* What's all this shouting? We'll have no trouble here! brother> MY SISTER'S DEAD! o_o father> Hmmmh. But always look at the bright side of things: At least now I have one mouth less to feed. corpse-gatherer (on the street, pulling a cart)> Bring out yer dead! Bring out yer dead! *mother and brother drag sister to the cg* cg> I thank thee. That makes, lessee, five pennies. *mother pays* sister (on the cart)> Ummm... hello? Anyone? *cg hits the sister* sister> Hello? I'm not quite dead yet... actually, I'm starting to feel fine! *cg hits the sister again* mother> What was that? cg> Nawwww, nothing ma'am, just the cart wheels' whining... *starts to drag the unconscious sister away* *mother and brother get back in, little brother enters* father> You know, son, I was thinking of joining the army. And by the way, your sister's dead. little> COOL! Do you get to drive a tank! father> Son, it's the year 1348. It'll be about 600 years before they invent tanks. little> Are you sure? Tanks are so cool! father> Yes, son. little> Bummer. I hate you. *marches out* mother> You've spoiled him... father> Don't you always complain to me, woman! But anyway, about joining the army... brother> OH?! ARE YOU GOING TO THE CRUSADES TO HONOR OUR ALMIGHTY LORD!? O___O father> *sighs and scratches his head* You live in the wrong year also. It's ben 57 years since the end of the last crusade. I'm going to hack those french bastards now. brother> Oh. Yes. Sorry. father> BUT - as I was saying - I'm leaving tomorrow. They promised to give me a good pay, and I can also rise to a high rank quite fast. Nice. mother> You as a warrior? Please. father> *grabs a sword, swings it around and makes strange battle noises* Yes! Can't you remember how I hacked those pagans apart 60 years ago? mother> Really? Anyway, you belong to bed, old man. You're 85 years old. father> So? *coughs* mother> Well, at your own responsibility. But don't forget to put your woollen socks on. father> No, I don't. *mother gives father a lump of bread* mother> Here's yer food for the trip. Have a nice picnic. father> Thanks, dear. *marches out and waves* Bye! See you, let's say, in a hundred years' time! mother/little/brother> Bye dad! *wave* Have a nice trip!